Have you ever given an advice to a friend. That friend seems to have understood everything, but when he or she comes back to you after applying it, it seems they have done it all wrong and they don’t even see why.
That’s simple, because we can operate only to the level of our awareness. And sometimes it also happens to you.
It happened to me. Actually, it is the follow up of yesterday’s post.
On February, 5th 2018, I’ve decided to commit to my most important priority of all. I won’t share it here, but it includes being happy. So being happy has been one of my drivers. I want to do everything to be happy everyday. It didn’t happen everyday, but I kept trying and I’ll keep trying.
Prior to that date, my ambition was paramount. I was living for it and for my work to better myself. When I think about it, I am still doing the same thing but not for the same reasons.
What happened yesterday is that I let my old values (ambition) lead the charges, being the priority. Forgetting on the way that I want to be happy no matter what.
I got stressed because I wasn’t meeting my ambition. By being stressed, I wasn’t being happy.
It’s simple and stupid. And it’s so basic that my logical mind that thinks of everything didn’t see the most obvious thing. I was letting myself down based on fear. I was shifting my biggest value for another one of lower value.
I’m so used to it, I can’t help it. I’ve been doing this for years. Now, I’m reprogramming my brain to understand what needs to be first. It’s okay, I’m going to slip again some other days and I’ll learn quicker. The first time I noticed it, it took me 10 years. Yesterday, it took me 2 hours with the help of my girlfriend. I mean, I can’t be mad at that.
It’s a process and now, the thing I used to say it me hard and deep inside. It hit me at another level than logical. It was emotional and should I say spiritual? (Yep, just did).
In a few days or maybe months, I’ll just notice it as soon as the ambition-filled thought will arrive so I won’t act on it.
Sometimes we act in ways that doesn’t match our intention. But that’s okay, it’s because we have acted out of our best intention that at some point we will realize the difference. Those who do not act, keep repeating themselves that it could be better but it will never actually become better.
Get your hands full with action and the best intention. You’ll start by dropping a lot of them but with practices you’ll learn how to juggle.
Nothing today. I think it’s a good realisation that I couldn’t have had any other way. And I don’t see how I could do it better unless I use an old value that is fear based ;-).